Home > Sports Banter > I feel your pain, Fat Man

I feel your pain, Fat Man

Albert Haynesworth, I owe you an apology. I thought you were just being lazy and you didn’t want to try Mike Shanahan’s conditioning test. I thought you were just being a over-paid pile of fat goo because you want to be traded to a different team where you didn’t have to run a simple drill.

Boy, was I wrong. That drill is FRICKIN’ IMPOSSIBLE. I tried to run it this morning and I have deemed the test impossible for the average fan to complete, let alone you. I feel your pain big guy. If a reasonably out of shape 22-year-old can’t run it, how can we expect a 300 pound plus, 29-year-old year old millionaire to run it. You have the $21 million already, you don’t have to pass the test. Shanahan is trying to make an example out of you but stay strong buddy. I support your boycott 100 percent and I hope all the fat guys of the world stand behind you in your time of need (or around you I guess, you are pretty much the size of a small city). Its cruel and unusual to make us fat guys run in the first place, let alone a make us run 600 yard gassers.

This Extra Ordinary Gentlemen supports Team Fat Albert.

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