Home > Movies, Rants > My “Anti 3-D” Rant

My “Anti 3-D” Rant

I briefly mentioned in my Harry Potter post my serious distaste for 3-D movies. I decided now to take the time to give a full on rant as to why I hate it. Put simply, if I had my way, James Cameron’s Avatar would never have existed (let’s be honest, it wasn’t that good anyways).

First off, 3-D is NOT a new concept, so Hollywood needs to stop treating it like one. 3-D has been around since the late 19th century and it’s technically called stereoscopy. All movies beforeĀ Avatar that were 3-D were “anaglyph” and we watched them with those headache-inducing red-and-blue glasses that we all remember. It was exceptionally popular in the 1950’s, but eventually died down. 3-D got a little more street cred in the 90’s thanks to IMAX and Disney making special features and shows that used polarization, which is the 3-D tech we use today. Then came along James Cameron with his pockets full of cash and his fancy new cameras (that look like they’re eating the cameraman) and introduced us to a way to actually film in polarized 3-D. Little did he know that he would kick start the newest fad in Hollywood. He is now in my shit list along with George Lucas and everyone at Warner Bros.

Now, why is 3-D not good. Well readers, there are many reasons why is no good. Firstly, because Hollywood is using it as both a ploy to get more people and come to the theater and to get those swarms to pay more as well. You see, Hollywood faces a struggle now that it never had to face before. Home television setups are getting so advanced that they can seriously rival the movie theater experience. Hollywood needed to get people to come out and spend their hard earned cash. 3-D was the golden answer (but it won’t be for long seeing as 3-D televisions are well on their way to becoming halfway decent). After the runaway success of Avatar, more and more movies were being converted into 3-D and studios started switching movies that were about to begin production into the 3-D world. Now let me get this straight: post-production 3-D looks like complete shit. Don’t deny it. Clash of the Titans is prime example of this. Clash was one of the first movies to be struck with Avatar fever. Needless to say the quality was terrible, the 3-D was unnoticeable at best, and half of the movie wasn’t even altered. I hated it.

This leads me to post-production versus actually filming 3-D. I really can’t stand either, but if I had to choose I would go with actually filming in 3-D. Nothing bothers me more than taking perfectly good, 2-D splendor and turning it into 3-D shit. This is where I want to strangle George Lucas. Many directors and producers are taking movies and converting them to 3-D and many are taking them from the past, but Lucas has taken it to a whole new level. Not only is he converting all the past Indiana Jones movies to 3-D, but he is also converting one of the most beloved and cherished film series of all time: Star Wars. George, Star Wars is superb how it is (except maybe Phantom Menace), you don’t need to add ANYTHING to it. Especially not 3-D. The original three movies were made with really old movie tech, and I’m pretty sure mixing those classic animations and effects with 3-D tech will not look good at all. While I’m on it, I may as well talk about another beloved series that is being converted to 3-D: Harry Potter. This one hits close to home. You can have Indian Jones and Star Wars if you must, but 3-D, keep your filthy paws off my Harry Potter! No matter how “cool” you may think it would be to see spells “flying out” at you, it WON’T. It will ruin the experience. Do you know why? Because those series weren’t meant for 3-D!

What do I mean by “meant for 3-D”. Well the answer is simple really. A movie is “meant for 3-D” if they plan on it being 3-D from the get-go, before filming even starts. But what happens then? What happens when producers and directors plan on filming in 3-D? Then they fill their movies with those stupid freaking “look! it’s popping out of the screen” effects that add no value to the movie whatsoever. James Cameron did one thing right: he actually made a 3-D movie the right way. If i’m going to have to live with this stuff (because it’s obviously not going away anytime soon), Avatar is the role model for all 3-D movies to come. The story might have been shit, but the effects were amazing and the 3-D was used in such a way that it wasn’t a complete nuisance.

Well, this has been an exceptionally long post, but I got my main points across. I hope I have shone a light on what 3-D truly is.

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